Beautiful Boys: An insiders perspective on the Lola Ray experience.

In an age of Bluetooth, WiFi, double blended green tea lattes and hybrid Ford Explorers, it was only fitting that my union with dearest John and Brian came simply from the click of a mouse. After months of sifting through the rotten tripe polluting craigslist, I happened upon a simple post which read ‘touring band seeks drummer’. I replied, auditioned, and soon found myself locked behind the graffiti riddled doors of a black van…cigarette smoke pouring forth through the cracked passenger window. The singer looked to be of some unknown and terrifying ethnicity and I would sooner than later learn of his barbarian appetite for barbequed meat. The guitarist came off as a quiet man, a troubled man perhaps, but nonetheless an educated man. He spoke in foreign tongues for the first week of the tour and would not allow me to urinate unless I asked. Much of the time I was too afraid. I knew within the first few hundred miles that lessons would be learned, friends would be made, and enemies would indefinitely be butchered under the fall of darkness, their bodies lost in the muck of Floridian mangrove.
One fateful night, I can recall tossing and turning on the vinyl bench seat of the van, staring out the window at the millions of tiny lights giving sight to the grim edge of desert before us and wondering, “how much better does it get?” I hadn’t had to ask to use the restroom in at least 3 or 4 days, John had offered me a succulent rib bone left in the wake of a post-show kill, and finally they had begun to call me by my real name (until then, I was referred to as ‘the lorax’). My heart felt heavy with the prospect of eventually gaining the unconditional love of these beautiful boys, so no task was too large, too foul or too erotic. If something needed to be shaved, I would shave it. If the pangs of road lonliness proved too much to handle, a backrub or hug was on the way. Life took on a strange simplicity while barreling down the endless highways, a fraternal bliss where not even the lilac stink of woman seemed to matter more than a fart in the wind. We were as gay as slightly gay straight men with mustaches, long hair and flower tattoos could be without actually being gay.
When the tour ended and the van pulled back into my suburban new jersey home, a salted jewel danced its way off the tip of my nose and fell to the black macadam. Home was no longer home and I was filled with the sadness of a love lost and a pet death all at once. The boys were moving back to California due to an utter lack of decent trash Mexican cantinas and my heart was broken thrice. I remember the last thing they said to me as they pulled away, “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re dumb…Beck, you are a God in our eyes, in every way, shape and form. Your penis should be cast and marbleized for generations upon generations to appreciate. We hate ourselves because you rule so much. Goodbye, greatest friend ever.” And then I moved to California. The end. - beck

dear diary,

today beck and i went to the irvine spectrum. that place is tops. they have roller coasters and helecopters and shit.

so we were walking down the main prominade and these two kids walked by that looked like they were in a band. it was weird. one was an incredibly good looking asian guy with sweet tattoos and probably a huge wang. the other guy had a sweet beard and probaby had a pretty big wang too (but not as big as the asian guy).

well anyway beck totally was checking them out. i didn't say anything, but i wanted to. should i be worried?

a little worried,

john.

First Six Tour Dates for February 2007

So it is finally time to announce the incredible tour package that we are taking out in February and March. It is us and our new friends The Oohlas!!!!!!!!

(www.myspace.com/theoohlas)

That's right, finally we have real news to announce!!! For the first time in a while there will be no more nonsense to write as we focus on the VERY serious task of making these tour dates the greatest shows we have ever played. Shows will be coming in for the next couple of weeks and we will continue to post them here until they are memorized by every man, woman and child in the United States and South America. This tour is great and will hit the West Coast like a thirty ton A-bomb of carbon monoxide (dangerous in the home)!!! Seriously if anyone misses these shows they will be sad in the future....it is true....i have seen the future and it is sad

Feb 19 2007 6:30P
El Corazon (All Ages) w/ The Oohlas
Seattle, Washington

Feb 20 2007 6:00P
The Venue (All Ages) w/ The Oohlas
Boise, Idaho

Feb 21 2007 7:00P
Kilby Court (ALL AGES) w/ The Oohlas
Salt Lake City, Utah

Feb 22 2007 7:00P
Muse (ALL AGES) w/ The Oohlas
Provo, Utah

Mar 2 2007 8:30P
Beauty Bar (21+) w/ The Oohlas
San Diego, California

Mar 3 2007 8:30P
Beauty Bar (21+) w/ The Oohlas
Las Vegas, Nevada

So make sure every human being you have ever met (including your other lover's mother) is at this shit!! I mean call up your friends little brother and be like "Are you going to see Lola Ray tonight...if not your a fucking DICK!!" That's how its done. Or just come and say "Hi" to us...that's cool to. We can't wait to get back on the road and see all our friends again. By the way here is another satisfied customer rocking one HELL of a Hoodie!!!

Take care and see you soon,

-brian

Lola Ray Top 5 Album Picks

So it is a real slow day and I still don't have tour dates to post (they are being confirmed at this very moment) so I though I would post something that would showcase our musical tastes a little bit. Below are each of our Top 5 albums of all time. Our lists have changed countless times and they in no way represent the Best Albums of All Time....these are strictly personal favorite albums. Without further delay,

TOP 5 ALBUMS

John Balicanta
FAILURE-Fantastic Planet
PEDRO THE LION-Whole
MINERAL-Power OF Failing
HUM-You'd Prefer An Astronaut
CHRISTIE FRONT DRIVE-self titled "Stereo"

Brian Spina
INTERPOL-Antics
MODEST MOUSE-The Lonesome Crowded West
THE BEACH BOYS-Pet Sounds
FAILURE-Fantastic Planet
THE STREETS-Original Pirate Material

Frederick Beck
DEFTONES-Around the Fur
BAD RELIGION-Suffer
PINK FLOYD-Dark Side of The Moon
LED ZEPPLIN-II
PANTERA- Far Beyond Driven

So those are our lists. Take them or leave them....mine is definately the best, altough it is in no way a competition. I also wanted to throw in this picture I found on myspace of this dude looking SO GOOD in our new Hoodies.

NICE WORK and your reward is staying warm in the freezing over of California. The ICE AGE is coming back so get one of our low grade Hoodies today!
-Brian

Frederick Beck....A hard hitting expose on Lola Ray drummer

(This picture is fucking creepy but whatever)

Drummers are a rare breed, and by a rare breed I mean that they are usually total ass pains. In Lola Ray, however, we are lucky to have an enthusiastic and delicious skins man in the form of Frederick Beck. Beck, as he is known to his friend, is a quiet and shy man. I have decided to serve him with this hard hitting interview in an attempt to uncover the enigma, wrapped inside the mystery, sprinkled with the ginger, that is Mr. Frederick Beck...............

What's your favorite Lola Ray song?
Beautiful Boy, that song sold me.

What's your favorite song to play live?
What it feels like.

What is your favorite smell in the van?
fear.

Why is being in Lola Ray the greatest thing you have ever done with your life?
Because prior to joining I was turning tricks.

Who is your idol?
Iggy Pop. Or maybe Brian Spina.

Who is better at Call of Duty 2...me, you or John?
John is on another level when it comes to video games...his fingers are alive with such a preciscion hatred that it gives me nightmares.

Has the Lola Ray passion for Mexican food taken a toll on your insides yet?
You tell me, lover.

If you were a cookie what kind of cookie would you be?
Nutter butter. What?

If I gave you a shirt that read "Spina is my co-pilot" would you wear it?
Co-pilot? You guide ME.

Were you jealous the John and I went to Universal Studios without you and can now ride the movies for a year free with our new year round passes?
It almost made me quit the band. I want to ride everything...especially movies.

So that is my interview with Beck. You can catch him on tour with Lola Ray in February (he will be the one playing drums). Make sure to keep this page bookmarked for more information from the world of Lola Ray and the up to date news on all tours. Take care,
-brian

James McIvor leaves Lola Ray

It makes me sad to launch this new forum (http://www.lolarayband.blogspot.com/) by announcing the departure of James from the Lola Ray family. James actually left the band in October and we have taken a couple months off from touring to deal with his departure and to find a new bass player. The split was completely amicable and we are happy that we all have remained best of friends throughout his leaving. His decision to leave was not based on unhappiness with the band, but rather on his growing call to return to University and his incredible intellect. James is quite a smart man and we wish him the best in his future academic pursuits. The departure of James was a huge blow to John and I, as he was a great value to the band and is a great friend of ours. We have decided to continue with Lola Ray with a renewed passion and drive for our music and careers, but with a eye to make sure that the spirit that James brought to our band will not be forgotten.

On a brighter note, we have used our time off well and looks like we should be back on tour in February. We will have more details on future tours soon. We have launched this blog to better keep in touch with our fans and friends and to keep everyone better posted on all our news. We should be updating http://www.lolarayband.blogspot.com/ about twice a week so please check in often and leave comments.

We have also posted brand new merch on http://www.lolarayband.blogspot.com/ including hoodies which we have never had available before. So, in closing, we miss James greatly, but John and I have attacked the band with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication so look forward to much activity in 2007 and we can't wait to announce tour dates that will bring us back to your town soon. Take care and best wishes to everyone,
-brian